Not my person, but my people.

Usually this post is about my person, Denise, but this time it's about my people. Because it's about my support system.  My support system consists of two very important people.  Two people that I would call for anything.  I wish I could say that one of the people I am talking about is my husband, but he isn't consistantly part of my support team b/c, well, he is 50 Shades of F*#%! Up.  Yea,  I read 50 Shades of Grey and felt like I was reading a book about my husband (minus the money dang it.  Makes sense that he would be exactly like Christian Grey except that he has no money!  And he isn't a masochist in the bedroom).  So, although I love my husband and think he is a great father, he isn't just a real great husband.  But, this blog isn't about my husband, it's about my BFF, and this specific post is about her and someone else who is equally important but b/c that person is a male, he can't do some of the crazy things Denise and I do together because it would just be inappropriate!  For privacy sake, I will call him "J."  If I call him by his middle name he might do something crazy, like spill the beans on things I have done that only he knows about!  So, J it is!  I have known J since I was 14 years old.  We didn't start out as friends.  Infact, he started out being very jealous of me b/c he was my boyfriends (now husband) best friend.  They were like peas and carrots, Bubba and Forrest, John and The Beatles...  and he thought I was Yoko.  I was breaking up the band.  After awhile though, he and I grew close and now are closer with each other than he and my husband are (now my husband is Yoko).  Now, 20 years later, J is still someone I look to for support, advice and guidance.   I have been through so many different things in my life, some great, some horrible and without the support of Denise and J, I am not sure how I would have made it.  They are a Godsend and I am not sure if they truly know this.  They are the type of people that I honestly don't know where my life would be if they weren't a part of it.  They both have close relationships with both of my kids and I trust both of them with my life and the life of my kids.  They supply the strength I need when things get tough.  I can tell each of them anything.  And what is great about both of them, is when I whine and gripe about the same thing that is usually a problem for me, they don't tell me to suck it up and deal with it.  They both know that I already know I need to do it and that sometimes it's easier to say than to do.  No, they don't do that.  They provide an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on and, if I needed it, an uppercut to the person that is causing me grief.  And I am so thankful for that.  I appreciate that they listen even though they have heard it all before.  I appreciate that they love me for who I am.  I appreciate that they would and have done so much for me and my family.  I appreciate the fact that they pray for me and my family.  I know that I owe them so much and I am not really sure how you repay a debt like that.  Maybe by just giving back to them what they give to me.  I hope they feel like I am that person for them.  J and Denise, I love you both very much.  Denise, if I were a lesbian, you would be my woman (but I am not and that is gross so you will just be my BFF).  And J, you are my back up.  I have thought about filing for divorce just to marry you, but I haven't found a ball gag big enough to fit your mouth yet.  I will continue to do daily google searches to find one,  but until then, I will dream about the day I can be YOUR Christian Grey.  You will submit to me.  Muah ha ha.....muah hahahahahaha!  Love you both.  Saying thank you seems like such an understatement, so I will say tu juelas como la caca de mi perro.  I know.... that was beautiful....  And you're welcome....

BUSTed

I haven't blogged in a few weeks.  Between being crazy busy and just trying to figure out which story I want to share next and how to word it, I just haven't gotten around to it.  I have so many stories to share and some of them, when I sit down to start blogging, just don't want to come out!  And then, you just wait and give time a chance to help, and the blog could practically write itself!  That's what happened this past weekend!  As I have said before, I live in a small town in West Texas and Denise lives in a neighboring town about 30 miles away.  Every year at about this time, the local businesses have a Christmas open house to showcase what they have.  It's mostly high end boutiques that have beautiful items that I could only dream of wearing (and since I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, that's ok).  Denise and I were both in need of some time away from our families.  We love them dearly, but to be blunt, we were ready to strangle each of them if we didn't get some time away!  Denise's husband was working days and that meant she would be home with the kids so I asked her if she wanted to drive up, let her kids stay with my husband and kids and we could run around and go to the open houses.  She was here in a flash!  The first place we went to is actually a store I trade with quite a bit so their were no feelings of doubt as to whether we should be there.  The second place on the other hand, was very ritzy.  Even the customers were dressed up!  We kind of giggled about how expensive everything was and that the only way we would pay for anything is if we accidentaly broke something, and even then we would probably have to work some of it off.  After leaving that store, we went to a local flower shop that was serving bunch and other treats.  The punch, might I add, was exquisite (I love that I used that word- I feel so proper).  It had bits of crushed banana and crushed pineapple in it.  We looked around and noted that the clearance items were located in the back of the store (exactly where a couple of girls like us fit in-with the clearance rack).  Their was a really cute, large plaque/frame and written on it was something about how friendship is a golden thing, blah, blah, blah...  It doesn't sound like it, but I did actually think it was cute.  Sadly, I only had $6 with me ( I really only attended this open house to sign up for the drawings- I know, that's awful redneck sounding, but since I won't really use anything in these stores, I might as well try and get a gift certificate to help pay for Christmas items for the people who will use them) and so I held up my money and said "Will you take $6?"  Now I knew that no one was around to hear (I hope), but Denise heard and shot banana/pineapple punch through her nose.  Luckily, she missed any of the items on the table.  Denise then asked me what exactly I would do with that if I bought it and I said I would put a picture of her in it and hang it over my bed so that I could look at it every night before I went to bed.  Once again, she blew banana/pineapple punch through her nose.  By this time we were very wound up and had the giggles.  We got out of there fast b/c the hoity toities were glaring at us.  We had one last place to go to which was a clothing boutique which has very pricey items.  Especially for a girl like me that frequents Cato's.  We went into the store and only one woman was working and she was helping a lady check out.  We went into a room that had a ton of cute clothing and Denise noticed a white, lacy blouse on a manikin.  It was beautiful but b/c the front of the manikin was facing the front store window, she couldn't see it.  The manikin was the armless, headless type but it had boobs, and that was the only place Denise could get a could grip in order to turn the manikin around.  Like I said, we were already silly and had the giggles and Denise mentioned that she was fondling the manikin right in front of the window.  And the lightbulb went off for both of us at the same time....  Here is how the conversation went:
Me: Denise, we should take a picture of you doing that!
Denise: Oh yea!  You could go outside and take it and it will look like I am fondling it from behind!
Me: YES!  Let me have your car keys so it will look like I am just going to get something from you car.
Denise: Ok...  Here, and we have to hurry!
Me:  hehehehehehe
Denise: hehehehehehe

I quickly went outside with my camera phone ready...  Denise stood behind the manikin and assumed the position.  As soon as I hit the button, she moved and all I had in my picture memory was a manikin and a blur.  She lost her nerve.  I mouthed "DO IT" and she got herself ready again...  Yet when I tried to take the pic, she once again moved!!!  She was afraid she would get caught.  I knew that I had two parts to my mission : First, help Denise gather the nerve to do this, and 2nd,  snap the photo.  I looked at her dead in the eyes, knowing she needed motivation to stay the course.  I then mouthed one word that no dare-devil wants to be called.  I called her a "pussy."  That's right...  I said it.  I usually hate that word but this time I am not ashamed b/c it worked.  She quickly glared at me and I saw her face harden (just like Marty McFly's in "Back to the Future" when he was called a chicken).  No one calls her a pussy.  She grabbed those fake boobs like it was nobodies business and I snapped the picture, checked it long enough to make sure it wasn't blurry and then shoved the phone back into my pocket.  The mission was complete.  I walked back into the store immediatly after taking the picture to hear laughter and racket.  "Oh crap!" I thought.  I listened to what was being said to try and decipher what was going on.  I heard the store clerk say "well honey, if you wanted to see what it looked like on, you could have taken it to the dressing room."  Denise responded with "well, I didn't want to have to take it off the manikin so she just said she would take the picture with me standing behind it and it would look like I was wearing it!"  Holy crap (and as Denise says, "if crap can be holy, then this is a prime example of when it would be!")..  We got busted!!!  I quickly started looking at clothes and tried not to make eye contact with anyone involved.  I felt my face turn bright red and knew Denise's had to be the same shade (50 shades of red as she said).  Their was a mixture of embarassment and hilarity in the situation and I knew if Denise and I locked eyes at the precise moment in time, it would be all over.  I think the woman might have actually believed that we were really taking a picture to see what it would have looked like on her.  I am sure her thinking process was "surely a couple of adult women wouldn't be so immature."  Well, guess again lady.  After that, Denise had such feelings of guilt (I do call her Marsha Brady at times) that she felt compelled to buy an item.  It wasn't the same blouse that the manikin wore, but it was something just as cute and frilly.  It really looked cute on her, but I hated that I dared her to do something that left her feeling guilty enough that she felt she had to purchase something to make up for our immaturity-especially an expensive something.  When we left the store and got into the car, we finally let out all of the laughter we had been holding in.  I cried all of my make-up off!  I hadn't laughed that hard in a very long time and God knew she and I needed that!  I cried so hard my stomach hurt!! I got my camera phone out and we both looked at the picture and immediately died laughing again!  If you have read this blog at all (and who knows, maybe Denise and I are the only ones that read it), then you know that I  change names due to privacy reasons, but I have to share the picture.  Pay attention to Denise's eyes.  The reason they are at the corner of her face is because the moment I snapped the photo is the same moment that the store clerk walked in!!   
The saying "a picture is worth a thousand words" comes into my mind each time I see this picture.  Even now I am giggling...hehehehe...
I truly hope that reading this made YOU laugh as hard as Denise and I did and it's not just a story that is only funny had you been there.  I know Denise and I both needed that time to laugh and enjoy each other and we did.  Thank God for my BFF!!!  And thank God for that stupid manikin with boobs!

A couple of 30 year olds with a 16 year old mentality

Yes folks, I am talking about Twilight today.  Every year that a new Twilight movie comes out, Denise, another friend/Twihard (Allison) and I get together and have a girls day out.  Our first movie to watch together in the Twilight franchise was actually New Moon. We weren't Twihards yet when the first movie came out.  In between the release of the first and second movies, Denise and I read the books (over and over and over again) and loved them!  We were (still are) Team Edward but have a huge amount of respect for Jacob-who is hot.  But since he is a teenager, we will call it respect (don't judge).  We found out that my childhood friend Allison also read the books and loved them.  She wasn't as crazy/immature about them as Denise and I, but she loved the idea of us meeting up to watch the movies in theater.  All three of us have kids and the idea of a girls day out was just awesome!!!  Denise and I decided that we would meet Allison in Lubbock (the town nearest us that is a good  meeting place).  We were bound and determined to have a good time that day.  We were pumped!  Denise had even ordered us Twilight shirts.  Hers had a feather on it and it said "Isle Esme"  and mine said "La Tua Cantante."  If you haven't read Twilight then google those two things to find out what they refer to.  Especially ISLE ESME-whoo.....  New Moon came out in November of that year and Denise still had a mask out that her son had used for Halloween.  It was an old man mask that was  very convincing looking.  Because of our state of excitement and level of immaturity, we decided to take the mask with us.  Once I drove into Lubbock, the mask went on.  We pulled up to the parking lot of the movie theater and the stares we received were great!  Allison met us there and it's a good thing we were early b/c women (and some gay men) were already forming a line at the ticket window to see this movie.  Finally, the suspense was over as we got into the theater and watched New Moon.  It was great!  So much better than the first (I realize that Twilight isn't every one's cup of tea-for those of you who do not like it, please just keep reading.  This is not, I REPEAT, not a Twilight blog!).  That same day Texas Tech was playing at home against the Oklahoma Sooners and had just beat them 41-13 (Raider Power) when we exited the theater.  We decided to drive down University Avenue (the site of Jones AT&T Stadium) and have some fun.  Allison sat in the front and put the old man mask on like a trooper!  Seeing the reaction of thousands of drunk Tech and OU fans was great!  I am sure someone thought we were just as drunk (sadly, I can't say that alcohol was a factor in our behavior-just us being us!).  After that we headed over to the mall to do some Christmas shopping.  Denise and Allison wanted to stop in front of Hot Topic to have our picture taken with the "Twilight" cut-outs standing outside of the store.  I am not going to lie, I was a party pooper!  It embarrassed me and I refused to be a part of such immaturity (I don't know why I made that decision at THIS point in the day-like I was above all of it or something).  What is even funnier is that right after that we headed over to Dillards b/c I (me, not anyone else) wanted to try on prom dresses.  Yes.... prom dresses....  I was 31 years old at this point in my life.  The chances of me going to prom at this point in my life were slim unless it was a.) as a chaperon or b.) something that could lead to my arrest and being added to the list of sexual offenders in my area.  Obviously the 10 minute reality/maturity check I had just had was gone.  Thankfully Denise and Allison didn't have a maturity check all day b/c we all grabbed dresses and headed into the dressing room.  The dressing room attendant was looking at us like we were crazy so then we started talking about how we had to find a dress for a special occasion.  I am real sure she believed us (eyeroll).  After we played dress up, I needed to run to Sears to look at a new power tool for my husband.  If you have ever shopped at Sears before, then you may know that they keep some personal information on you in their computer system.  Denise and Allison were standing at the check out line with me while a young, college aged man-child was helping me check out.  Now, I have up to this point changed the names of the people in this blog b/c for confidentiality reasons, but if I do this for this particular part of the story, it will just ruin the story and I wouldn't even be able to add it!  The man-child behind the counter had just asked for a home phone number so he could see if we were in the computer system.  I was happy to share it.  After a couple of seconds of searching he looked up at me and said "I have a woody."  Now, I know what you are thinking b/c it's the same thing that Denise and Allison thought.  Denise (remember that Denise has no filter!!!)  says "YOU HAVE A WHAT?????????!!!!!!!!!!"  I thought for a minute someone would have to pick us up off of the floor b/c we were laughing so hard.  And this poor guy was about as red as a fat kid on a hot summer day.  You see, my husbands name is Camillo (he is Hispanic), but his nickname is...you got it...Woody.  That poor man-child.  He was just trying to be professional and instead, it sounded like he was trying to act out his favorite porn/power tool fantasy (which makes me wonder if a guy really would want to live that fantasy out-sex surrounded by saws...hmmm...).  And do you think my non filtered BFF left it alone?  Oh HELL NO!!  She laughed and made fun of that poor guy until I finally had to tell her to zip it-ok, through hysterical laughter I told her to zip it.  And not b/c I felt bad for him, but b/c if she didn't shut up, I would have passed out due to lack of oxygen to the brain due to laughing so hard.  Finally, we got finished with the transaction and tried to leave the man-child with a small ounce of dignity (not sure that worked out real well for him).  At this point the evening was coming to an end.  We knew that all that had transpired that day, we would be sure and make it an annual trip.  We have since done it two more times and have another movie coming out next month.  I can't wait!  Oh, and when I got home and told my husband about what happened in Sears, he didn't think it was funny at all..  Go figure!

We don't swing that way....

OH NO HE DIDN'T!

I have said before that Denise and I met while working together in the local hospital.  Shortly after meeting, we both found out that we were both pregnant.  Her with her first child and me with my second.  We had such a great time being pregnant together and sharing our experiences.  Working in a small hospital at this time definitely had its advantages, too.   Everyone knew everyone so if things were slow we could call down to radiology and they would tell us to head on down for a ultrasound (a FREE ultrasound).  We could also use the fetal doppler which is what is used when the doctor listens for your babys heartbeat.  As nurses aides, we were trained to use these and did so often.  We worked with a pretty good staff but their was one specific male nurse that would sometimes get under our skin.  I am not knocking male nurses.  My oldest brother is an RN and is an awesome nurse.  No, I am not knocking male nurses....  I am knocking this particular male nurse though.  He was about 50 years old, skinny (lanky skinny), gray headed and made my skin crawl.  He would tell perverted jokes and constantly made sexual innuendos to whoever would listen.  How the guy hasn't been charged with sexual harassment is beyond me.  Denise and I definitely had grounds to charge him, but we were both young and naive not really knowing that kind of stuff.  Plus, living in a small town where everyone knows each other can make doing something like that difficult.  I think Denise and I both wish now that we would have done something about it.  Even now, thinking of him, I get the chills.  Anyways, back to the story at hand, Denise and I were working on a very slow Saturday morning.  All of the business office was gone for the weekend, our patient load was light and we were at a point where we could take a quick break.  Denise said "Hey, do you want to practice getting the fetal heartbeat on each other?"  Are you kidding?  A chance to listen to my babys heart beat was ALWAYS something I wanted to do!!!  We excitedly went to the nurses staton where this particular nurse was.  Since I don't feel like I can share his real name, let's just call him Dick.  It fits (that's what she said-sorry..) his personality perfectly.  Because that's what he was!  Dick asked us what we were doing.  I told him we were going to check fetal heart tones.  He asked "who is going to do it?"  Ok, Denise's response may have set us up, and we completely understand that, and so did Dick.  Her response was "we are going to do each other."  And because Dick is Dick, he had a totally normal Dick response.  His response was "can I watch?"  Now listen, Denise and I laugh about this all the time.  It was funny, but if you know Dick (you know you all do, BTW), you would know it was creepy.  We both turned bright red and Dick had  that creepy, perverted smile that all creeps have.  I am pretty quick at smart remarks and wise cracks, but since this pregancy was zapping all of my neurons and electrons in my brain and they weren't connecting, all I could do was stand there.  Finally Denise said "we don't swing that way."   What's odd for me is that I have known Dick all my life (ya, I know, setting myself up for a comment on that-it's alright...go ahead) and grew up with his daughter, who is a year younger than me and also worked with Denise and I.  You would think that Dick would think about the fact that I am his daughters age and that might somewhat turn him off....but, he is Dick...And like most Dick's, all they seem to think about is sex.  I am happy to say that Denise and I walked away from Dick to go do each other.  Wait...that came out wrong.....oh, you knew what I meant!!!  And BTW-  We both had boys...  and did not name them Richard....

It's Not Always Sunshine And Roses

One of the most difficult times in my life occured just three years ago.  Thank God I had Denise to help get me through it.  My husband and I had at that time been married for 11 years.  We had a 10 year old and 8 year old boy.  For years I had wanted 3 kids.  Two boys and a girl.  I had the 2 boys, but the prospect of having a girl wasn't looking so hot.  I had pretty much given up on it and my husband didn't want to have one at all.  Although I hadn't been on birth control for several years and we were not using anything to prevent pregnancy, my husband was completely against having another child.  That same summer I had been offered a new job as a school nurse.  It was a job that had great benefits-paid holidays and summers off!!  Could it get better than that?  Of course I accepted without hesitation!   I gave my 2 weeks notice at my then current job.  I was excited but it was hard to tell.  I felt horrible!  I was tired.  No, I was EXHAUSTED.  I didn't think much of it until my boobs started feeling sore.  I was late for my period, but that really wasn't (and still isn't) odd for me.  I rarely have a regular cycle.  But the sore boobs is what tipped me off.  I told my husband that I was going to get a pregnancy test.  He didn't respond too much.  I think he truly thought he was shooting blanks-which I don't understand why he thought that.  But, to be honest, I really didn't think I was either.  Since my periods were so irregular I really just thought it was a fluke.  I went ahead and took the test.  We all know what the results were.  If you haven't figured it out, it was positive!  I was ecstatic!!!  Shocked, but ecstatic!!  I couldn't believe it!!!!  I called my husband into the bathroom and excitedly told him.  His reaction was the extreme opposite of mine.  With a stone face he said "What?  You can't be.  You are starting a new job in two weeks.  The timing is horrible!"  No excitement.  No joy.  Nothing.  Two things happened.  I got really sad..... And then I got really mad.  He had already planned to take the boys to the park and play ball with them, so he took them and left me by myself to try and figure out what had just happened.  After the initial shock wore off, I called Denise.  She gave me the exact response I needed!   Elation!  She was so excited!  At the time, we were (ok still are) huge Twilight fans (Team Edward!).  We were waiting for New Moon to come out but had just finished reading the entire series together.  You will only understand this next part if you are a Twi-Hard.  She wanted to buy me a maternity shirt with the words "My Lil Nudger" printed on it.  We were already making plans.  She was talking about breast pumps and baby showers and I needed that!  The next day, I called my ob/gyn to make my appointment.  My husband and I weren't going to tell anyone about the pregnancy until we had been to the doctor.  They couldn't get me in for a week, which is eternity when you want something this important confirmed!  The day of my appointment came to me having to wake up at 4a.m. to go into the hospital to assist with a procedure.  I felt great!  I was sleeping great and very happy.  My husband still wasn't near as excited about the pregnancy as I was, but atleast the look of shock was gone from his face!  Things changed that day.  As I went to the bathroom that morning and wiped my privates, I noticed blood on the tissue.  I had gone through a miscarriage before and was almost sure that this was what it was, but I was hoping that it was just spotting from all of the changes occuring in my uterus.  The nurse in me knew, the mom in me was denying it.  Sucks to be in the medical field sometimes.   I knew my doctors office wouldn't be open for several more hours so I went to work, got done with the procedure and called the clinic.  They said I needed to come right in.  I hadn't told my husband up to that point.  I think I was afraid of his reaction, and rightly so.   I called him next and told him.  His reply?  "It's just Gods way."  Really?  That's all that SOB could say?  I have said I am a strong Christian before, but that is NOT what I needed to hear right then.  He asked if I wanted him to come with me to the doctor and I said not only no, but hell no.  Who did I call?  Denise.  She met me at the doctors office where it was confirmed that I was miscarrying.  I felt all alone except for her.  My parents were shocked by the pregnancy and even though they are good parents, didn't know what to say.  I understand to a point.  It's always somewhat akward in a situation like that.  My in-laws were the same way.  Not Denise though.  She stuck by my side the entire time.  Thank you Jesus for my friend (as I write this, tears still stream down my face because I know that without her friendship that time could have been a lot darker). My husband was still acting very non chalant about the entire thing.  After a couple of days of lab work to see if the pregnancy was going to leave my body on it's own, the doctor decided I needed to have a D&C done.  I was emotionally numb.  The only person I felt I had to lean on wasn't my husband, but my sister, my friend.  Denise.  For the next year  I held a lot of anger towards my entire family.  Especially my husband.  He was jealous that Denise filled the void from my loss.  And she is who I looked to for comfort.  I was mad at God for letting this happen, so I didn't turn to Him.  I still went to church regularly, but I sat through services, not listening.  I was in a fog.  I was depressed and angry.  And not one time when I was griping and moaning about what had happened did Denise ever tell me to get over it or anything like that.  She listened.  Finally, on Christmas Day something snapped in me and I killed my husband... Just kidding.  I needed to lighten the mood.  HAHA!  But something did snap and I know it was God, who never left me, telling me that I had a choice, continue to dwell on the child I didn't have, or love and cherish the two I do have.  I, of course, chose the latter.  My husband and I had a heart to heart where he apologized for his actions.  He knew I had lost some trust for him and he would have to work to get it back.  And Denise was there the entire time.  So thank you "H" for your help.  I love you dearly!

Ooh la la!!

So here I am once again to share the follies of a wonderful friendship!  I have to say that several of the MOST DARING things I have ever done in my life has taken place with my BFF Denise!  And what I am about to share is one of those times!!
This took place only 2 years ago.  I am a member of Cafemom which is a social site dedicated to moms.  I love this site 90% of the time (if you are going to have a social web site for women only you can guarantee their will be drama-hence the 10% of the time that I loathe this site!).  I am a member of several groups, one of them called "Married Sex" which people can discuss ways to pep up their sex life with their spouse, things that drive them crazy and many other things.  I was poking around (pun intended) this site for ideas when, low and behold, someone brought up boudoir photos.  They were even brave enough to post their pictures!  They were amazing!  Even women who were overweight and out of shape looked beautiful and said they even felt beautiful doing it.  They were doing this as a gift to their spouses!  What a great idea!!!  I knew I wanted to do it, but because I am very modest I would NEVER go to a professional to have it done.  It would have to be someone I was comfortable with.  That's where Denise came in.  As soon as I gathered up the nerve to discuss it with her, I called her and after some persuasion on my part, we decided we would do it.  The perfect date was coming up in October.  Her husband and oldest child and my husband and two sons were all going out of town to a college football game (Gun's Up for any Texas Tech fans).  Once they all hit the door, so did I!  I drove to Denise's house with my Nikon and lingerie in tow.  Denise lives about 30 miles away so the entire time I was driving I just kept repeating "I can't believe we are doing this."  I was nauseated because I was so terrified.  Denise is my very best friend and I love her dearly, but only two people have ever known me intimitely and they are my husband and my gynocologist.  Now I know that sounds like we were about to embark on something extremely raunchy with brown chicken brown cow music in the back round, but that's not true at all.  It's just that, like I said, I am VERY modest!  I grew up in a house of boys that made fun of you for having boobies, so I sure as heck didn't go around letting everyone see them!! 
The first thing we did when I got to Denise's house is pull out all of the, umm.....paraphanelia!  Their was enough make-up and jewelry around to make us look like a couple French flucies (Ihave no idea how to spell that)! After we got dressed...or undressed depending on how you want to look at it, our moment had arrived.  Since it was my idea, I posed first while Denise snapped away.  I truly think she was hoping she could take so much time doing my pictures that we would run out of time to do hers!  My response to that is HA!  If I am going to drive 30 miles to get naked, then by God, she is stripping down, too!
At first it was a little uncomfortable.  I am not exactly model pretty.  To be honest, I am working with 175 pounds on a 5'4" frame.  I am in between thick and super absorbant.  So on top of being modest about my naughty bits, I wasn't real happy about Denise seeing everything I had to offer (BTW we did not go south of the border).  I want to say this about my BFF.  She made me feel exquisite and beautiful.  I can't imagine a professional photographer doing a better job than her.  We tried to keep everything covered to leave something in the imagination of my husband, but we did have a wardrobe malfunction once.  One of the pictures  that a mom had shared on Cafemom was her laying on her back with a large wine bottle over her breasts.  It really was a very beautiful picture and I really wanted to use it.  That girl from the photo obviously had two, make it three very large gifts that she was working with. The first two being large breasts and the third being gravity (I truly wouldn't have put those three things together).  Listen, we taped my ta-ta's together, we taped them to the bottle (which was too small anyways) and if we could have taped them to stand at attention, we would have). It was just a matter of time before Denise, who was standing over me trying to get a picture of this,  was about to see nipple.  And I knew when it happened because she went from being very professional to not even looking me in the eye (I am not sure she would have been able to look me in the eyes anyways at that point).  All she could say was "ummmm....nipple."  It had happened!  Nipple slippage! You couldn't get me covered up quick enough!  For Pete's sake I went most of my childhood thinking I wasn't even supposed to have the dang things and now here one was poking out! It was at that point that I decided we were finished using that stupid bottle and I was getting dressed! 
Now it was her turn!  The night at this point was getting late and at first, we weren't sure we were going to be able to do her pictures (so she said).  I was very confident we could pull this off (I love puns).  She finally changed into what she was going to wear.  As I said in my earlier post, she really is a very pretty young woman (if she wasn't my BFF I would hate her) so she looked great!  Her favorite  outfit was a very pretty pair of lace undies, a pretty silk scarf and a gray fedora.  It was prefect because it covered in the perfect areas and the fedora was such an awesome addition!  She rocked it!  But, as said before, it was only going to be a matter of time before things started slipping out.  That's right, it was time for the sequel-The Nipple 2!  The scarf fell away.  It didn't fall off of her, just fell away, leaving her exposed.  I think I said "BOOB!" about 5 times before she finally realized what I was saying as she sat there in a squating position with her fedora tipped to the side.  It was a little uncomfortable.  Now I knew why she couldn't look at me when mine slipped out.  What's funny is obviously, we see boobs everyday when we look down, she and I are both in the medical field and have seen all sorts of boobs, but seeing each others boobs, wow....  I tell you, it's just not the same!  I don't care if boobs are boobs.  Call them what you will, but BFF boobs make you uncomfortable!Now, on a side note, I ordered the pictures and gave them to my husband as a Christmas gift.  He loves them and Denise knows exactly where they are located in case my husband and I are ever tragically killed.  Her mission is to locate and destroy!  She didn't order any, although she "says" she showed them to her man.  I am not sure I believe that!  LOL!  If I had to guess, she was being a good sport and supporting me on my perverted mission and deleted those bad boys as soon as time could allow her!  And if that is the case, I would just like to give Denise a big thank you for going through that ordeal with me!  Only a true BFF would take naked (almost naked-:) ) pictures of her friend!  Now, in the case of my death, if I find out that you share those pictures with anyone before you destroy them, I will haunt your ass forever!

The Beginning of a Dynamic Duo-the story of Lesley and Denise

It's hard to even know where to start with the story of our friendship.  It seems like yesterday but our friendship has been a work in progress for about 12 years now.  When you talk about two guys being best friends, you call it a "BRO-mance" and I don't know if their has been a word made for two women's friendship and I refuse to have it called a "HO-mance!"  so we will just use the term BFF.  Now, I know that as she is 32 years old and I am 34, BFF may sound a little immature.  But, as you read, you will come to find that we really fit the bill.  Infact, a mature friendship would only be the definition of our relationship if sarcasm were being used!  So, BFF it is!!  I really do feel like God sent her to be my best friend in the whole world and I wanted to share our journey.  Some of it will make you smile, some of it will make you cry, but for the most part, if you are anything like us, you will laugh so hard you come just short of peeing your pants!
It all started when I was working at the local hospital as a nurses aide.  She came in and applied for the job.  I remember seeing her outside the supervisor's door.  She was cute and kind of preppy looking and let's be honest, had a cute body.  I had already had one child and things just weren't what they used to be with my body so I instantly became jealous of her.  Apparently it showed, b/c a few months after we got to know each other she revealed to me that when she first saw me, I looked mean...  Oops!  I told her that was because she looked skinny.
Most of the time, when you first meet someone you go through several days or weeks of formalities before you feel comfortable enough to share any type of intimate detail in your life.  Not Denise though.  After we had worked together for just a couple of days, we were already really enjoying each other, but were still trying to be polite to each other.  Let me rephrase that-I was trying to be polite!  But the time for formalities for Denise were gone at that point when I asked her during our 15 minute break if she would like some of the peanuts I had brought to work.  I expected a "no thanks" or "sure!"  That's completely NOT what I got! Her response to me, after knowing each other for two days was this "oh, that's ok.  The only nuts I like are David's when they slap me in the ass."  (It's ok...take a minute to pause, re read that last sentence and then laugh!  After 12 years of friendship, it's still one of my favorite stories.)  Now as you can imagine, my jaw hit the floor and I may have sucked all of the oxygen out of the room due to shock!  It was at that exact moment I realized Denise had no filter!  After the shock wore off, we both sat there and laughed so hard we cried.  And thus, a friendship was born!  That was the day we exchanged phone numbers and began our daily regimen of calling each other and to this day, we still talk almost everyday! 

I am really excited to continue sharing the story of our friendship.  And, if I can talk Denise into it, I may try to get her to add her two cents in every once in awhile as well!  My true hope is for everyone to read this and be able to say "I have a friend like that."  She is a true blessing in my life and I don't know what I would do without her!  I will try to get on here and add a story or two a week!  I am not going to try and trick you into believing that all of our stories will be sweet and clean.  She and I are both Christians that love the Lord with all of our hearts and nothing on Earth could change that, but we also talk together about things that are real and happening to each one of us and because life gets messy, so will this blog!