BUSTed

I haven't blogged in a few weeks.  Between being crazy busy and just trying to figure out which story I want to share next and how to word it, I just haven't gotten around to it.  I have so many stories to share and some of them, when I sit down to start blogging, just don't want to come out!  And then, you just wait and give time a chance to help, and the blog could practically write itself!  That's what happened this past weekend!  As I have said before, I live in a small town in West Texas and Denise lives in a neighboring town about 30 miles away.  Every year at about this time, the local businesses have a Christmas open house to showcase what they have.  It's mostly high end boutiques that have beautiful items that I could only dream of wearing (and since I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, that's ok).  Denise and I were both in need of some time away from our families.  We love them dearly, but to be blunt, we were ready to strangle each of them if we didn't get some time away!  Denise's husband was working days and that meant she would be home with the kids so I asked her if she wanted to drive up, let her kids stay with my husband and kids and we could run around and go to the open houses.  She was here in a flash!  The first place we went to is actually a store I trade with quite a bit so their were no feelings of doubt as to whether we should be there.  The second place on the other hand, was very ritzy.  Even the customers were dressed up!  We kind of giggled about how expensive everything was and that the only way we would pay for anything is if we accidentaly broke something, and even then we would probably have to work some of it off.  After leaving that store, we went to a local flower shop that was serving bunch and other treats.  The punch, might I add, was exquisite (I love that I used that word- I feel so proper).  It had bits of crushed banana and crushed pineapple in it.  We looked around and noted that the clearance items were located in the back of the store (exactly where a couple of girls like us fit in-with the clearance rack).  Their was a really cute, large plaque/frame and written on it was something about how friendship is a golden thing, blah, blah, blah...  It doesn't sound like it, but I did actually think it was cute.  Sadly, I only had $6 with me ( I really only attended this open house to sign up for the drawings- I know, that's awful redneck sounding, but since I won't really use anything in these stores, I might as well try and get a gift certificate to help pay for Christmas items for the people who will use them) and so I held up my money and said "Will you take $6?"  Now I knew that no one was around to hear (I hope), but Denise heard and shot banana/pineapple punch through her nose.  Luckily, she missed any of the items on the table.  Denise then asked me what exactly I would do with that if I bought it and I said I would put a picture of her in it and hang it over my bed so that I could look at it every night before I went to bed.  Once again, she blew banana/pineapple punch through her nose.  By this time we were very wound up and had the giggles.  We got out of there fast b/c the hoity toities were glaring at us.  We had one last place to go to which was a clothing boutique which has very pricey items.  Especially for a girl like me that frequents Cato's.  We went into the store and only one woman was working and she was helping a lady check out.  We went into a room that had a ton of cute clothing and Denise noticed a white, lacy blouse on a manikin.  It was beautiful but b/c the front of the manikin was facing the front store window, she couldn't see it.  The manikin was the armless, headless type but it had boobs, and that was the only place Denise could get a could grip in order to turn the manikin around.  Like I said, we were already silly and had the giggles and Denise mentioned that she was fondling the manikin right in front of the window.  And the lightbulb went off for both of us at the same time....  Here is how the conversation went:
Me: Denise, we should take a picture of you doing that!
Denise: Oh yea!  You could go outside and take it and it will look like I am fondling it from behind!
Me: YES!  Let me have your car keys so it will look like I am just going to get something from you car.
Denise: Ok...  Here, and we have to hurry!
Me:  hehehehehehe
Denise: hehehehehehe

I quickly went outside with my camera phone ready...  Denise stood behind the manikin and assumed the position.  As soon as I hit the button, she moved and all I had in my picture memory was a manikin and a blur.  She lost her nerve.  I mouthed "DO IT" and she got herself ready again...  Yet when I tried to take the pic, she once again moved!!!  She was afraid she would get caught.  I knew that I had two parts to my mission : First, help Denise gather the nerve to do this, and 2nd,  snap the photo.  I looked at her dead in the eyes, knowing she needed motivation to stay the course.  I then mouthed one word that no dare-devil wants to be called.  I called her a "pussy."  That's right...  I said it.  I usually hate that word but this time I am not ashamed b/c it worked.  She quickly glared at me and I saw her face harden (just like Marty McFly's in "Back to the Future" when he was called a chicken).  No one calls her a pussy.  She grabbed those fake boobs like it was nobodies business and I snapped the picture, checked it long enough to make sure it wasn't blurry and then shoved the phone back into my pocket.  The mission was complete.  I walked back into the store immediatly after taking the picture to hear laughter and racket.  "Oh crap!" I thought.  I listened to what was being said to try and decipher what was going on.  I heard the store clerk say "well honey, if you wanted to see what it looked like on, you could have taken it to the dressing room."  Denise responded with "well, I didn't want to have to take it off the manikin so she just said she would take the picture with me standing behind it and it would look like I was wearing it!"  Holy crap (and as Denise says, "if crap can be holy, then this is a prime example of when it would be!")..  We got busted!!!  I quickly started looking at clothes and tried not to make eye contact with anyone involved.  I felt my face turn bright red and knew Denise's had to be the same shade (50 shades of red as she said).  Their was a mixture of embarassment and hilarity in the situation and I knew if Denise and I locked eyes at the precise moment in time, it would be all over.  I think the woman might have actually believed that we were really taking a picture to see what it would have looked like on her.  I am sure her thinking process was "surely a couple of adult women wouldn't be so immature."  Well, guess again lady.  After that, Denise had such feelings of guilt (I do call her Marsha Brady at times) that she felt compelled to buy an item.  It wasn't the same blouse that the manikin wore, but it was something just as cute and frilly.  It really looked cute on her, but I hated that I dared her to do something that left her feeling guilty enough that she felt she had to purchase something to make up for our immaturity-especially an expensive something.  When we left the store and got into the car, we finally let out all of the laughter we had been holding in.  I cried all of my make-up off!  I hadn't laughed that hard in a very long time and God knew she and I needed that!  I cried so hard my stomach hurt!! I got my camera phone out and we both looked at the picture and immediately died laughing again!  If you have read this blog at all (and who knows, maybe Denise and I are the only ones that read it), then you know that I  change names due to privacy reasons, but I have to share the picture.  Pay attention to Denise's eyes.  The reason they are at the corner of her face is because the moment I snapped the photo is the same moment that the store clerk walked in!!   
The saying "a picture is worth a thousand words" comes into my mind each time I see this picture.  Even now I am giggling...hehehehe...
I truly hope that reading this made YOU laugh as hard as Denise and I did and it's not just a story that is only funny had you been there.  I know Denise and I both needed that time to laugh and enjoy each other and we did.  Thank God for my BFF!!!  And thank God for that stupid manikin with boobs!