We don't swing that way....

OH NO HE DIDN'T!

I have said before that Denise and I met while working together in the local hospital.  Shortly after meeting, we both found out that we were both pregnant.  Her with her first child and me with my second.  We had such a great time being pregnant together and sharing our experiences.  Working in a small hospital at this time definitely had its advantages, too.   Everyone knew everyone so if things were slow we could call down to radiology and they would tell us to head on down for a ultrasound (a FREE ultrasound).  We could also use the fetal doppler which is what is used when the doctor listens for your babys heartbeat.  As nurses aides, we were trained to use these and did so often.  We worked with a pretty good staff but their was one specific male nurse that would sometimes get under our skin.  I am not knocking male nurses.  My oldest brother is an RN and is an awesome nurse.  No, I am not knocking male nurses....  I am knocking this particular male nurse though.  He was about 50 years old, skinny (lanky skinny), gray headed and made my skin crawl.  He would tell perverted jokes and constantly made sexual innuendos to whoever would listen.  How the guy hasn't been charged with sexual harassment is beyond me.  Denise and I definitely had grounds to charge him, but we were both young and naive not really knowing that kind of stuff.  Plus, living in a small town where everyone knows each other can make doing something like that difficult.  I think Denise and I both wish now that we would have done something about it.  Even now, thinking of him, I get the chills.  Anyways, back to the story at hand, Denise and I were working on a very slow Saturday morning.  All of the business office was gone for the weekend, our patient load was light and we were at a point where we could take a quick break.  Denise said "Hey, do you want to practice getting the fetal heartbeat on each other?"  Are you kidding?  A chance to listen to my babys heart beat was ALWAYS something I wanted to do!!!  We excitedly went to the nurses staton where this particular nurse was.  Since I don't feel like I can share his real name, let's just call him Dick.  It fits (that's what she said-sorry..) his personality perfectly.  Because that's what he was!  Dick asked us what we were doing.  I told him we were going to check fetal heart tones.  He asked "who is going to do it?"  Ok, Denise's response may have set us up, and we completely understand that, and so did Dick.  Her response was "we are going to do each other."  And because Dick is Dick, he had a totally normal Dick response.  His response was "can I watch?"  Now listen, Denise and I laugh about this all the time.  It was funny, but if you know Dick (you know you all do, BTW), you would know it was creepy.  We both turned bright red and Dick had  that creepy, perverted smile that all creeps have.  I am pretty quick at smart remarks and wise cracks, but since this pregancy was zapping all of my neurons and electrons in my brain and they weren't connecting, all I could do was stand there.  Finally Denise said "we don't swing that way."   What's odd for me is that I have known Dick all my life (ya, I know, setting myself up for a comment on that-it's alright...go ahead) and grew up with his daughter, who is a year younger than me and also worked with Denise and I.  You would think that Dick would think about the fact that I am his daughters age and that might somewhat turn him off....but, he is Dick...And like most Dick's, all they seem to think about is sex.  I am happy to say that Denise and I walked away from Dick to go do each other.  Wait...that came out wrong.....oh, you knew what I meant!!!  And BTW-  We both had boys...  and did not name them Richard....